How to Practice Self Love in your Love Language

How to Practice Self Love in your Love Language

In this post, I encourage you to practice self-love in your love language. In the Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman outlines love languages that romantic partners experience and express love for each other. His book discusses the ways partners tend to receive and communicate love through the five love languages: acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch and words of affirmation. While learning your partner’s love language is important to better your relationship. The most important relationship one can have is with ourselves. The way you treat yourself sets the standards for others. No matter if you’re single or in a romantic relationship. Practicing self-love means prioritizing your mental, physical, and emotional well-being.

Once you know how you like to receive love, you have the power to start practicing showing that love to yourself. Not sure what’s your primary love language take the Five Love Languages Quiz.

Acts of Service

My primary love language is acts of service. As someone who is constantly busy, I try to incorporate things in my life that will be of service to me. The goal is to invest in things that make your life easier. If there’s a task that you’ve been putting off you can hire someone to do it for you. No time to head to the supermarket get your groceries delivered. Do something nice for yourself. Plan out the week. Create a wardrobe capsule for the month.

Receiving Gifts

After a hectic week, we should give ourselves grace and celebrate our wins with gifts that will bring happiness in our lives. One gift that I purchase weekly is a fresh flowers. I usually buy them at Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods and they are under $10.00. Fresh flowers brighten up the room and can elevate your space. I also recently started getting in the habit of buying candles. Candles can increase your focus, alleviate stress, enhance your mood, and your mental health overall. Gift yourself something fulfilling and invest in your own advancement. I gift myself every other week with a new book. Sometimes when I’ going through a stressful time I read a a chapter or two from my favorite self-love books.

Quality Time

One of my favorite self- love languages is spending quality time in solitude. This allows me to focus on being present and getting to know more about myself. Spending quality time in solitude gives you time to recharge. As Ryan Holiday stated in his book,  “It is in stillness that we can be PRESENT and finally see truth. It is in STILLNESS that we can hear the voice inside us. We must cultivate MENTAL STILLNESS to succeed in life and successfully navigate the many cries it throws our way.” 

As an introvert, I love spending time with myself. One way to practice this love language is by taking yourself out on a date. I love solo brunch and movie dates. I usually extend my weekends with a mental health day and take myself on a staycation,  or spa date. There is absolutely nothing wrong with dating yourself I am the queen of table for one. If you are not comfortable going out by yourself you can also spend time doing something new while staying in.

Physical Touch

Caring for your body is a great way to show love to yourself.  Your body should be pampered, touched and taken care of.  An idea to practice this love language is by pampering yourself with weekly at home spa days. I usually do weekly facials with my steamer and and a sheet mask. You could also try soaking in a hot tub with epsom salt in the dark with tea light candles lit in the bathroom while playing meditation music. Take your time moisturizing your skin every morning and night. You could also try a new workout, stretching or meditating to relax your body.

Words of Affirmation

Self-love can include talking kindly to oneself.  Affirmations are positive reminders or statements that can be used to encourage and motivate yourself. Writing daily affirmations can inspire and motivate you to be better and help to overcome imposter syndrome or challenge any negative thoughts that arise. Alex Elle uses her words to remind us of the ways we can show up for ourselves like we would for others. I recently just started writing in her In Courage Journal that includes morning and evening writing prompts to help implement self care and self love in your life. Writing daily in a guided affirmation journal sets the tone for how I rise in the morning and settle down at night. You can also listen to guided affirmation meditations.  I encourage you to be gentle with yourself and practice self-compassion. The way we talk to ourselves affects the way we feel about ourselves. Words have power.



Start taking a couple of steps now to surround yourself with loving care. Be intentional and actionable about how you love yourself by practicing self love in in your love language. Whats your  love language?

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